Countless fertility treatments failed IVF, failed frozen embryo transfer, a devastating stillbirth, an interrupted adoption, year after year, longing for children without success. In our wildest dreams, we never thought we would be faced with deciding what to do with remaining frozen embryos!
Then, seven years and four children later, we knew our family was complete. We had 14 embryos in frozen storage. We struggled with the decision of what to do with these little lives. Destroying them was not an option for us. It was very important for us to know that if they were given the chance to grow into babies that they were loved and safe. Our clinic suggested we look into Snowflakes®. We contacted Snowflakes and discovered we could decide who would receive our embryos! That’s when we knew this was the path that was best for us.
Throughout the matching process, we were not sure what we wanted in terms of communication with our adopting family. We at least wanted to know if children were born and to be able to receive pictures and updates at least once per year. We were open to eventually meeting our genetic children and the adopting family. Those were our original communication expectations. In reality, we have gotten so much more than we ever could have hoped or imagined.
Soon after the match, we were communicating with the family we had chosen through the agency. Eventually, that led to direct email contact and, when they learned they were pregnant, a mutual exchange of phone numbers. When their son was born in October 2016, we had pictures within minutes. Communication continued almost daily with wonderful images showing how much he was changing. My feelings about this baby boy were mixed: but I knew our adopting family wanted a child as much as we did when we were struggling to build our family. Then the idea of meeting face-to-face was raised.
We were grateful, but also apprehensive. In December 2016, when their son was just a couple months old, we decided to take an 8-hour road trip with our 4 children to meet them. What an amazing, incredible experience! Holding the baby and meeting his parents confirmed for us we had made the right decision. The parents were so kind and understanding—they were easy to talk to and made sure we got to enjoy our time with the baby. We were able to see their home and the area where their son will grow up. Spending time with them was amazing and did so much to ease our apprehension. Now we feel like we have an extended family!
Their son (and hopefully future children as well) will grow up knowing about us and knowing that we love him and made our decision based on our love. We continue to communicate with our adopting couple of times a week, and they already have plans to come visit us this summer! We truly feel blessed with our experience and at peace with our decision.
Send your story and photos to us. Post them yourself via Facebook and Twitter or email us your story and we will make it available on our Family Stories page, found on our website.
Email Paige@nightlight.org and help another family build their embryo donation or adoption story.
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