Choosing Life, Choosing a Family

By: A family who wished to share their story

Our story began in the autumn of 2010 when my wife and I decided it was time to expand our family.  After several months we visited an Ob/Gyn to try and discover if we had any infertility issues.

We attempted multiple intrauterine inseminations (IUIs) before being directed to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE).   We determined to pursue in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments.  We were blessed with twins!  However, now we had seven remaining embryos.

What should we do with them?

We sought spiritual guidance from trusted advisers.  We determined that destroying the embryos was not an option and decided to donate them to another deserving couple.  We wanted to have a choice in who received our gift of embryos and after conducting online research of the available options we chose to self-match using the MiraclesWaiting website.

We read many profiles from recipient families and there were only a two that we felt fit our list of desires. Our ‘first choice’ family had switched to international adoption.  We were disappointed because they seemed like the perfect match for us.  Some of our top matching requirements were that the family share our religious beliefs, be sports fans and have strong family ties.

We reached out to the second family we had selected.  When we connected by phone we felt like we were talking with old friends!  We began communicating almost daily and decided to meet shortly thereafter. For five hours we met together at a local food court and talked and laughed and became acquainted with one another.   We knew they were the right couple and we were very happy to hear they would be willing to accept the embryos.

My wife and I went through a wide range of emotions when we decided to donate – many of them were surprising to us.  We began to feel as if we were giving away our babies, almost abandoning them in a sense. But as we grew closer to the other couple and felt their desire for a family we quickly realized they were actually a blessing to us. They were helping us make a good choice for these remaining embryos.  We had already decided we could not afford to store the embryos long-term and we certainly didn't want to destroy them.

We made peace with all the emotions, partly in thanks to our recipient couple who always made us feel at ease and helped us in many ways as we sorted through our feelings.  We now consider them a part of our family and we have weekly conversations.  

With excitement we await the birth of their adopted child in 2014.  We are so thankful for finding this particular family, giving our embryos to them, and joining them in the journey of life.  We know that both of our families will be blessed beyond anything we could have imagined.

It has been an emotional roller-coaster, but it is one ride we would gladly take again.

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